Naikan Retreat Dates

About Naikan Retreat

Start: At the beginning the Naikan guide gives an introduction to Naikan, explaining the setting and the Naikan method.
Naikan practice: After the introduction the Naikan practice starts. Naikan is an individual self-reflection, there are no group activities. Each participant sits on his or her Naikan place and practices Naikan quietly. The Naikan guide visits each participant for a short interview every 60 to 90 minutes. If possible there are no contacts to people outside the Retreat. Meals and drinks are provided.
End: The Naikan guide gives additional information in a final talk with all participants.

Attending a one-week Naikan Retreat

Individual Naikan Retreat (no group)

I'm arriving at the Naikan center. The Naikan guide gives a warm welcome to me. Very soon we will have lunch together. Before the Naikan practice starts, we have the possibility to talk and to become acquainted. That's fine because during the Naikan Retreat I will focus on my Naikan.

After lunch the Naikan guide gives me an introduction to Naikan.

How does it work? What am I supposed to do?

I'm told that I will spend most of the time on my Naikan place. There is no specific posture required. It's recommended to sit while practicing Naikan because that's best to maintain concentration. During the Naikan Retreat we have an agreement: no books, no radio, no TV, no mobile phone, no contact with people outside of Naikan, conversation with the Naikan guide only. Well, that's what I call quietness.

Apart from that there are no regulations, only recommendations are given. It's recommended to stay at my Naikan place for most of the time because that helps to maintain concentration and it gives protection for my inner work. Of course I am allowed to leave my place at any time to get a cup of tea or to smoke a cigarette in the yard.

Tea, soft drinks and fruit are always available. The Naikan guide brings breakfast, lunch and dinner to my Naikan place. All right, I will have everything I need.

Let's start the Naikan practice.

I move into my little Naikan place. Nobody will disturb me there, the place will provide protection and calmness. Only the Naikan guide will come to see me for a short interview from time to time. The Naikan guide has told me to start my Naikan reflection focusing on my mother or the person who cared for me like a mother, just in case my mother wasn't there in my childhood.

I start with Naikan focusing on my relationship with my mother when I was 0 to 6 years old. I try to remember what I have experienced during these years of my life. I focus on my experiences with my mother asking the three questions of Naikan:

1. What have I received from this person?
2. What have I given, what have I done for this person?
3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused this person?

I spend about 60 to 90 minutes at my Naikan place, quietly working with my memories and the three questions of Naikan. Then the Naikan guide comes to see me for a short interview. He or she asks me, "What person and what period of time have you examined?" I answer, "I have examined the relationship with my mother when I was 0 to 6 years old." I'm asked to give a few examples of what answers I have found to the three questions of Naikan. At the end of the interview the Naikan guide says: "Thank you. Please continue Naikan focusing on your mother when you were 6 to 10 years old." No comments, no further questions, no judgements. The Naikan guide just listens and gives me support and understanding. The Naikan interview is quite short, maybe 5 or 10 minutes long.

After the Naikan interview I continue my Naikan practice on my own. Again I try to remember my mother, this time when I was 6 to 10 years old. Naikan self-reflection, Naikan interview, Naikan self-reflection, so it goes on and on ... I examine my life focusing on a specific person from our first contact until today (or until the day this person died or left my life), always looking through the lense of the three questions of Naikan. At first I focus on my mother, then my father, siblings, grandparents, partner, friends, work associates, specific topics ... It depends on my current situation and my biography which persons or topics I choose for my Naikan reflection.

At the end of the Naikan Retreat I slowly come out of silence. There is a final talk with the Naikan guide. We have the possibility to talk about our experiences. And the Naikan guide gives me words of advice for Naikan in everyday life.

Naikan Retreat in a group

Even if there are more participants practicing in a Naikan retreat, there is no group work. Naikan is individual practice. Each Naikan participant receives a private training area for the individual self-reflection. This is to retreat and focus on oneself. At the beginning of the Naikan exercise, retreat to the place of practice and thereafter silence (day and night) until the end of the Naikan exercise. Individual private Naikan conversations in a whisper with the Naikan guide if participants practice in the same room. Naikan participants are asked to keep silence and to not disturb the other participants. Naikan reflection proceeds as described above.

Online Naikan Retreat

Naikan as a break from everyday life, in the form of a silent retreat and a place for self-reflection, also works beautifully as an online retreat.

Different Time Zone?

The times listed above are Time Zone Vienna, Austria: UTC+1 Central European Time, UTC+2 Central European Summer Time. If you are located in a different time zone, we can change the schedule. Please contact me to arrange an individual schedule.

Withdraw and be in silence

Ideally, a person attending a Naikan retreat would withdraw and be in silence so that they can practice Naikan as undisturbed as possible during the entire duration of the retreat, i.e., concentrate on their introspection and not be distracted by the outside world.

We therefore recommend the following for the online Naikan retreat:

• a practice area that is as undisturbed as possible (for retreats lasting several days, your sleeping place is ideally at your place of retreat),
• organize meals and beverages etc. before the start of the retreat, purchase everything you need (food, etc.) in advance (you can cook yourself in the retreat or have ready-made meals brought to you),
• no communication with others (it is best to inform family and friends before the retreat that you will not be available for the duration of the retreat − if it’s not possible for you to completely withdraw, we recommend setting a certain time window per day where you can be reached by the outside world),
• no media distractions (use cell phones and/or computers only for our Naikan conversations, no TV, no radio, no reading).

Can you withdraw to a quiet place for the entire duration of the Naikan retreat, where you will not be disturbed by others?

This is the ideal hiatus from everyday life: as if you are traveling and spending a few days in an isolated hut or in a Naikan Center in meditation, in line with the motto: "I'll be gone for a while and I’m not available to anyone – I’m taking care of myself for a few days."

The Naikan exercise ends shortly before bedtime, e.g. approx. 9 p.m., and starts the next day after breakfast, e.g. 9 a.m. Are you a night owl? Then let your Naikan day end later, e.g. around 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. Are you a morning person? Then let's start Naikan earlier in the morning, e.g. 7:30 a.m. or 8 a.m.

The Naikan day consists of 8 to 10 online Naikan conversations. We agree on the times together: in one-on-one Naikan, we can customize the process.

Do you have a place to withdraw to, but can’t withdraw continuously because you have to be available during the Naikan retreat or have to tend to everyday affairs?

This is a therapeutic hiatus: reduce the business of everyday life and take as much time as possible for yourself. Online one-on-one Naikan creates the opportunity to design your retreat individually, by mutual agreement.

Perhaps you’d like to be available to your family in the evenings? Then let your Naikan day end a little earlier, e.g. around 6 p.m. or 7 p.m. Or maybe you want to tend to your everyday affairs in the morning and get them out of the way? Then let's start Naikan later in the day, e.g. at 10 a.m. or 11 a.m. Do you need a longer break in between? Then we just integrate a 2- or 3-hour break into the daily routine. We agree on how your day is structured together.

How do the online Naikan conversations work?

We agree beforehand which technology we will use for the online discussions: video calls (e.g. Zoom or Skype) or only audio (e.g. Signal or Threema or telephone). You will receive contact details a few days prior to the start of the retreat.

An exact time must be agreed to start Naikan so that we can discuss all the details of the process. This first conversation at the beginning of the retreat will take about 1 to 2 hours.

The time for the next Naikan conversation (around 8 to 10 conversations per day) is agreed during the current conversation. An online Naikan conversation takes about 10 to 20 minutes.

In addition, I am at your disposal around the clock during the retreat for urgent matters. For this purpose, I use a separate cell phone number, which you will also receive before the Naikan retreat.

What is different in the online Naikan retreat?

Self-sufficiency

An element that has a major impact during the on-site Naikan retreat at the Naikan House is something that can only be offered in a personal encounter at a Naikan Center or a seminar house: all-round care from the very first to the very last day. At an on-site retreat at the Naikan House, I, as the Naikan guide, am responsible for the setting (daily structure, meals, avoiding media, undisturbed withdrawal, etc.); so, you don't have to worry about that at all. Being cared for and knowing that the “Naikan reception” is manned around the clock creates a feeling of security in the sense of comfort.

In the online Naikan retreat, on the other hand, self-sufficiency is the order of the day: you are responsible for the setting (daily structure, meals, avoiding media, undisturbed withdrawal, etc.). The “Naikan reception” is also manned around the clock during the online retreat, because I, as the Naikan guide, am available to you any time via a cell phone number. Remote support is different to on-site all-round care at the Naikan House; it creates a feeling of security in the sense of dependability.

Naikan conversations

Our Naikan conversations tend to take longer in the online retreat than in the on-site retreat at the Naikan House, because we use our conversations to build a foundation of trust. In personal encounters at the on-site retreat at the Naikan House, we not only build this trust through our Naikan conversations, but also through non-verbal cues. We need more direct communication during the online Naikan retreat.

Taking notes

I get asked one particular question very often: Can I take notes at Naikan? At the on-site Naikan retreat at the Naikan House, we recommend not taking notes because experience has shown that writing tends to distract people from the introspection in a protected setting. If you enjoy writing, my recommendation is: observe whether the writing disturbs or facilitates your Naikan practice. If the writing helps you focus on Naikan, feel free to take notes.

For the online Naikan retreat, however, I recommend taking notes because experience has shown that writing does indeed help when practicing Naikan on your own. It facilitates concentration and helps in answering the Naikan questions.

Is prior knowledge or experience required?

No.

The Naikan practice requires your willingness and ability to spend a lot of time alone, devoting yourself to your memories and introspection. You address your own life story and thereby focus on one caregiver or one topic. You allocate the memories to the 3 Naikan questions.

An exact time must be agreed to start Naikan so that we can discuss all the details of the process. This first conversation at the beginning of the retreat will take about 1 to 2 hours.

The time for the next Naikan conversation (around 8 to 10 conversations per day) is agreed during the current conversation. An online Naikan conversation takes about 10 to 20 minutes.

In addition, I am at your disposal around the clock during the retreat for urgent matters. For this purpose, I use a separate cell phone number, which you will also receive before the Naikan retreat.

The 3 Naikan questions are the methodical tools:

1. What has [person X] done for me? What have I received?
2. What have I done for [person X]? What have I given?
3. What difficulties have I caused [person X]?

The Naikan conversations give your day a certain structure. As a Naikan guide, I support you, above all, through active listening. Anything that comes up or shows up, is allowed.

Do you already have some experience with meditation or longer silent seminars?

If you meditate or have taken part in a silent seminar spanning over a few days (e.g. mindfulness practice, Zen, Vipassana, fasting week, spiritual exercises...), then you’ve already experienced the fact that thoughts and feelings come and go, that life can sometimes get boring, that the mind wanders... you will experience the same thing with Naikan. Then just bring your focus back to the Naikan exercise.

Meditation (e.g. breathing exercises, Zen, Vipassana, MBSR, body journeys...) is often associated with holding a certain posture. This is different with Naikan: there is no prescribed posture that you need to hold. You can sit, lie, stand, move. Anything that helps your Naikan work is fine.

The goal of meditation is to learn to observe one’s own mind and then to direct the thoughts. To this end, Naikan opts for the path of controlling one's own mind by specifying clear time frames in which memories are called up and sorted out using the three Naikan questions as the primary tool. In Naikan, the mind isn’t supposed to be emptied, but the abundance of thoughts and feelings should be perceived and directed differently than before.

Do you already have some experience with psychotherapy or coaching?

If you have experience with psychotherapy or coaching, you already know that your past and your personal experiences are very valuable. Naikan is different to coaching and many therapeutic approaches in that it is not problem- or solution-oriented. In Naikan, it’s about the wealth of experiences. Whether joyful or sad or neutral, everything that you’ve experienced forms the foundation of who you are today.

If you’ve worked with associative methods in therapy or coaching, during which you have been able to recognize links between different events or times or people, you will learn a completely different approach with Naikan. Naikan is chronological biographical work. You follow your own life path and focus on one person (or topic); one person (or topic) at a time.

Coaching and countless psychotherapy methods use the conversation to question, analyze, and explore links together. It's different with Naikan. The primary task of the Naikan guide is to listen attentively during the Naikan conversation. The guide does not comment on what has been said, it is not discussed or analyzed. The perspective that you gain from your answers to the three Naikan questions, is alright.

Please note: The prerequisite for partaking in a Naikan retreat is in any case that you have clear cognitive abilities. Naikan is not a substitute for medical or psychological care. In the case of health restrictions (e.g. taking medication or psychoactive substances that impair perception and concentration, or other physical or psychological restrictions that require special consideration), please have a preliminary discussion about it with the seminar guide.